EA Anonymous….The Last Week of Term 4
This story is entirely fictional - a playful glimpse into the life of Krystal, a dedicated Executive Assistant in an Australian School. Inspired by the unsung heroes who keep schools running smoothly, Krystal and her world are products of imagination. Blending humour, heart, and a touch of chaos, this tale celebrates the resilience, wit, and warmth of EAs everywhere. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Step into Krystal’s office and enjoy her wonderfully messy, endearing world.
The last time we met our erstwhile EA Anonymous, the world of the school was seemingly crumbling before her eyes. But, our erstwhile EA is to the rescue. The Boss was in a bad mood after an early morning traffic incident, multiple complaints and an unrecognisable meeting in his calendar. Also he became allergic to the cat requiring an EpiPen injection. Lucky those compliance classes were up to date thanks to the instructor, the EA. Snuggles the Cat was adopted by a kind family rather than being sent to the Naughty Cats Home, but due to the Boss’s allergies is not allowed on campus. Everyone misses Snuggles, more than they miss the Boss when he is away. The dishwasher was finally unpacked, only to be filled and neglected the very next day despite the sign saying please empty the dishwasher.
“No Christmas parties this year.” The Boss is in one of those moods.
“Budget cuts, we need to save money. Christmas has been cancelled.” This is the third time this morning the Boss had mentioned budget cuts. He becomes obsessed about budget cuts every year at this time. He has never told me why budgets have been cut. He has never cancelled Christmas before.
Should I poke the bear?
“So why is Christmas cancelled? Does this mean no Bad Santa Kris Kringle this year?"
“Yes.”
“Budget cuts and new policy.”
“What new policy?” I shouldn’t ever do this but I can’t resist.
“Our new gift giving policy. It’s a new policy but we can’t give each other gifts anymore. It’s part of our Risk Assessment.”
“What’s the risk in giving gifts?” I ask,
"Someone may miss out on a gift or not like their gift. Therefore there is a risk we have to manage with gifts.”
I glance at my new Apple Watch, ironically a gift for my birthday. It says 8.31 am. It’s going to be one of those days.
“Boss, there are no coffee pods left.”
“I know,” he replied. “Budget cuts, no money left in the coffers. The Big Wig Bean Counters want us to save money for next year’s big celebrations.”
I return to my desk, coffee less and focused on organising the End of Year Assembly. We have had a big response. Unfortunately, we sent out the wrong list. There are going to be a lot of parents unhappy but I have an idea.
“Boss can I order some biscuits from the Canteen for the parents who are attending the Assembly and got emailed an invitation by mistake.”
“No, budget cuts.”
I put my headphones in and get back to work. It’s going to be one of those days.
The phone rings. It’s Rachel at Reception.
‘Do you know anything about a delivery of 12 Christmas Trees?”
Oh dear…..The Co-ordinator of Chaos springs into action.
"Perhaps Helen they are for the school up the road. They have a big Christmas Concert every year. Just check the address.”
‘Yes, correct, it’s for St Mark’s not St Mickaleas.”
“Thanks Helen, Merry Christmas.” New Apple Watch Beeps, my Heart Rate has returned to normal. No Christmas tree this year. Budget cuts.
To be continued…..
