Whose Benchmark?
Over the past several weeks, my writing has explored the different stages of my own leadership journey as an Executive Assistant, each one pushing me to think more deeply about not only what we do, but why we do it and how we choose to lead.
My role is two-fold, it involves leading a team and also supporting my Campus Principal. Many moving parts. But all of those parts join together - my team supports me in getting their jobs done, which allows me to support my Principal, which ultimately supports the goals of the College.
Last week, the moment that has stayed with me is a small one on the surface, but it has sat with me since it happened.
I asked one of my team members to complete a task. Nothing unusual, nothing too complex - just a job that needed doing. When it was done, I watched them show it to me, and I could see how proud they were. Genuinely proud. In that moment, it clearly meant something. I want to say here that I provided feedback that I thought this job was done brilliantly, and I appreciated their insights as to how this might work.
And it made me stop and think.
I'll be honest - over the years, I've often wondered why people can't work at the same level as me. I don't say that as a boast. My own standard is nothing of a benchmark. The way others work is certainly just as fine. I probably sit somewhere on the high-performance end, built through years of experience within the education sector, understanding the complexities and working with leadership teams. But I've caught myself, more than once, quietly measuring someone else's effort against my own bar - and finding it different, when really, nothing was different at all.
So how do you measure what high performance means for one person?
The truth is, you can't - not fairly, and not against your own experience. My level today is not the level I started at. It was built over years with many factors taken into consideration. To expect someone else to arrive there without having walked that same road isn't leadership. Leadership is understanding that some people are just happy with the roles they play within schools, the way they perform, and as long as they are living up to the standards of the Position Description this is absolutely fine.
The task got done. That is the part I keep returning to. It got done, and it was done well - with the experience and confidence they currently have. I was absolutely delighted with how this task was done.
I think this is one of the quieter traps of leadership, particularly for those of us who are naturally high performers. We build our own standard so instinctively that we forget it is ours - shaped by our own path, our own pressures, our own years. And without realising it, we can hold others to a measure they were never given the chance to grow into.
Pride is not relative to my yardstick. It is relative to theirs.
When that team member showed me their work, they weren't comparing it to what I would have done. They were comparing it to what they knew they were capable of - and by that measure, it was a genuine achievement - one worth recognising fully, and I did.
I keep coming back to something I wrote a few weeks ago - that sometimes our role is simply to believe in people until they begin believing in themselves. I am starting to understand that belief has a condition attached to it that I hadn't fully considered. You cannot believe in someone while silently measuring them against a bar not relevant to them. Belief has to meet people where they actually are, not where I happen to be standing.
As we know, connection drives everything.
As Executive Assistants, so much of our own growth has been built quietly, over years, often without anyone watching. We forget that the people we now lead are at the very beginning of that same road, or they could be at the end of their road, which is also fine.
Last week taught me that the real measure of leadership isn't whether someone reaches my level. It's whether I can recognise and honour the level they are actually standing at, and help them take the next honest step from there, if they choose to do that.
I am finding this part of the leadership experience to be very rewarding.
So this week, I leave you with this question.
When did you last measure someone else's effort against your own bar, instead of theirs?
