Feedback - why is it so difficult to know how and when to provide feedback and why can it be so upsetting for the receiver to hear?
Giving and receiving feedback can be a challenging process, but essential for personal and professional growth.
Recently I have been chatting with some work colleagues about this and was interested to discover that many of us struggle to know how and when to provide feedback at work.
I too find it challenging to know when to give feedback and sometimes surprise myself with my own reaction upon receiving any feedback that is less than positive. While the constructive type is what allows us to continuously improve and grow, it can also trigger emotional responses and reactive situations.
It is all very well to say we shouldn’t take things personally and we need to be stronger, but we are all individual human beings and interpret information differently. At times when I have received feedback, I am grateful as it allows another perspective on the issue and provides learning and growth. I do enjoy the conversations that ensue - no offence taken! Other times have been more of a struggle.
So in my experience here are some tips for getting the best from a scenario where feedback may be required at work.
Tips for giving constructive feedback at work:
First consider: is this feedback genuinely that important for you to pass on or should you let it go? If you are unsure, chat with someone else to get their opinion first - this always helps to put things in perspective!
If you decide that providing feedback is necessary, how will you communicate? Is a 1-1 setting the most appropriate course of action, or is it best brought up in a group setting? Will you be able to deliver it kindly and in a fruitful manner?
Think closely about the person you will be delivering it to - how have they taken feedback in the past? What is their personality type, your workplace relationship with them? Remember we are individuals and how we work and process information is completely different to how someone else might interpret information (and emails and texts are easily misunderstood). Be kind.
Consider the time and place. Is it the right day to give feedback - it could be that person isn’t having the best day and it might be worth considering another time. You never know what people are going through.
Once you have delivered the feedback be prepared for the reaction and consequences. What outcome are you hoping to achieve? What if the outcome is not quite what you expected, then what? This is definitely worth spending time thinking about before you proceed.
On the other hand, if you are the one receiving feedback, here are some tips to receive it more effectively (and less personally):
Tips for receiving feedback at work:
Listen actively: Listen carefully to what the person is saying without interrupting. Show that you are engaged by asking follow-up questions.
Avoid defensiveness: Try not to get defensive or make excuses when receiving feedback. Instead, try to understand the other person's perspective.
Ask for clarification: If you don't understand the feedback, ask for clarification at the time. This can help you better understand what you need to work on.
Focus on solutions: Instead of dwelling on the negative feedback, focus on how you can improve. Ask for suggestions or advice on how to address the issue.
Say thank you: Show appreciation for the feedback by saying thank you. This can help foster a positive relationship with the person giving the feedback.
Remember, giving and receiving feedback is a skill that takes practice. By following these tips, you can help ensure that feedback conversations are productive and beneficial for everyone involved.
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